Amy Grant wrote a great song with this theme and I sang it several times today. Somewhere along the way, I heard someone say that those you have trouble with on this path are really showing you who YOU are. Meaning, if I find someone bugging me, that trait within me is shown through others. Does that make sense?
Also, I was walking and thinking about my preconceptions of the Camino, “ah heck,” I thought, “piece of cake!!” Ah-no.
I was a little miffed with myself and missing home, you know the feeling. Note that as this is happening, there is no one within sight. I said out loud, “I got nothing Lord.” After silently walking, I began to sing Amy’s song, nothing else to do, right?
“Lay down the burdens of your heart, you know you’ll never miss it. Tell your father where it hurts, and let your father fix it.”
I then had a flash of understanding, so clear and joyful, yet I can’t explain the magnitude of understanding here, that’s how God works: he cracks open his viewpoint, we comprehend, but can never explain it to another.
I had carried my burdens in that blasted pack. I shipped it ahead two times (had great walks) but I feared losing it. So I lugged it again, and tried to work through it. I found that with the pack….I could only go about 12 km., and I’d never make it to Santiago. So I begrudgingly carried it. Hated it, all I could feel were my poor feet. Walking on stubs…pain, pain, pain.
Why do we insist on carrying the habits, hatred, grievances, and customs that weigh us down? “Oh, that person hurt me, is different, doesn’t think like I do: on and on.” You see where I’m going, don’t you? We carry it, refuse to let it go because, then what? Indeed, then what.
I had a revelation: drop it. Let the heavenly Jacobtran carry it for you, (Jacobtran is the name of the pack service on the Camino that carries your pack to your next stop). If I need it, it will be where I’m going. Don’t carry it anymore.
I sang through scripture songs I knew and then…I began to sing new songs, hearing melodies and finding words to go with them. I haven’t done this in 20 years. My youthful joy returned and, those who knew me when I used to write and sing songs, would be happy to see this happen.
So: lesson learned and happily accepted.
“Oh Lord, how excellent are thy works in all the earth!”
High fashion on the Camino!
this sign made me laugh. But I was tired, so who knows.
a dried piece of cheese, in a stolen piece of bread, sweet roll and pop: great lunch today!
Lovely Albergue garden.